I’d like to start my story by first thanking all of the wonderful women who have come forth with their own journey. Reading your stories has helped me come to terms with my own and get to the point where I would like to share my own in the hope that it helps another person feel that they are not alone.
I have had a long journey to motherhood. I have battled endometriosis since I was a teenager and as a consequence found falling pregnant very difficult. I had to do 9 rounds of IVF and 4 operations in order to conceive my beautiful little girl. It was a very long 6 years filled with a roller coaster of emotions, many set back and it was also physically and financially demanding as well. I saw 6 doctors before finding the right one for us and we are so thankful to him. Once falling pregnant I pretty much had an easy pregnancy with normal morning sickness until 17 weeks but then a good 2nd and 3rd trimester.
I started going into labour naturally at 38 weeks, it was the week before xmas in Queensland so I was over the heat and feeling ready to get things happening. I was planning on getting an epidural because 2 doctors had previously told me that I should because I had already been through so much with endo and IVF. I went to the hospital in the morning and waited until about 3pm when I was induced with drugs and my waters broken because things were progressing slowly. I ended up having about 45mins of intensive labour before the epidural worked. After about 5 hours my little girl was stuck and in distress, which I NOW know is common with the type of intervention that I had. The doctor had to use the vacuum and suction her out, this was done in a matter of minutes so you can imagine this was not great for my pelvic floor. Once she entered the world I saw her for about 1 minute and then she was rushed to the nursery for the night, so I didn’t get that bonding experience until the next morning.
I think of my birth as a good one and happy with my doctors but I just wish that I had been more informed about the consequences of the interventions used. Hadn’t I been through enough???
It wasn’t until I was 4 months postpartum that my lower back and hips gave way ( bilateral sacro iliac joint dysfunction) and I also discovered that I had an avulsion / POP. I have had personal hurdles in my life but this was the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with physically in my life. I could not walk properly or lift my baby for 3 months and was lucky to rely on my mother to help. I felt helpless, extremely depressed and thought that my life was over until I found Amy and the right support team and learned that with time I have recovered to the point where I am happy again and not thinking about my injuries anymore. I see a wonderful exercise physiologist who has helped me learn to live life again.
I wore a pessary for about 8 months and very scared to try for number 2 knowing that I would not be able to use it anymore. For number 2 I had to have another operation and more IVF which failed. While preparing for even more IVF I fell pregnant which was quite amazing. I was completely terrified of living day to day without a pessary whilst looking after my 2 year old and being pregnant. BUT I can say now at 24 weeks that thanks to my wonderful exercise physiologist and learning to trust my body I have made it this far without any symoptomatic issues with my hips, avulsion or pelvic floor.
If I have learned anything from my experiences it would be that we women are incredibly strong and courageous and I would also tell myself back at 4 months pp that things will improve, physically, mentally and that I can live life to its fullest again with time and the right support.
I am more educated now and booking in for a c section this time round.
The stories shared on the Experience Blog are written by real women and are not edited by ABTA in any way. We respect the right of birth trauma sufferers to express themselves as part of their journey to understanding their trauma. The stories may be triggering to some readers and please keep any comments related to these posts respectful.